CYNTHIA

Goodbye.

2009-07-25T15:32:00.001+08:00

2009-07-25T02:15:00.002+08:00

So my very talented boyfriend was watching me pacing around the room on my webcam and...
.
.
.

N says (2:13 AM):
*how's the jingles on your wrist?
*OMG
*OMG
*OMG
*gf
N says (2:14 AM):
*tell me that your bedsheet is the one with CLOWNS and got like 5-6 ugly clowns on it
Cynthia wants a Ukulele. says (2:14 AM):
*OMG U HAVE IT HAHA
N says (2:14 AM):
*HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!
*OMG!!!!!!!
Cynthia wants a Ukulele. says (2:14 AM):
*MY MOM BOUGHT LIKE
*DAMN LONG AGO
N says (2:14 AM):
*SAME!!!!!!!!!
*LOL!!!

ULTIMATE CUTENESS.

P.S/ I HAVE A BIG PIMPLE GROWING AT THE LEFT SIDE OF MY CUTE NOSE ): and I'm supposed to be sleeping. Oh & Charles didn't come online tonight );

2009-07-24T21:59:00.004+08:00

WITH CYBERLINK YOUCAM 3.0, CYNTHIA IS..

Officialzsxsxzx narcissist queen.

Yay TJB's out of camp for the next 2 days (: I wonder if Charles will be online tonight.. Maybe on Friday nights he goes chilling. He's never online before 12am though - at least not often. Parents don't allow me to help Nigel out on Sunday because I just recovered ):

I want L4D. I want to meet my girls again, and hug them and narcissize with them. ):

2009-07-24T19:21:00.002+08:00

Today's been slow although I woke up awfully late.

Tried borrowing a cat and I was successful! But then Nigel didn't want a cat anymore so I went around asking for a kid. Successful too but we ain't confirm anything yet. We're trying to form a family. Nigel + me + kid = family HAHAHAHA joking. No I'm trying to help him out in his Photography project.

Brother got me the Cyberlink Youcam 3.0 hehehe manyluvszxsz. I've been having porridge for the past 3 days NON STOP wooohoooo my weight's currently 57kg now! I'm happy happy jumpy!

That awful Mr. Penguin can really act! Eugene showed me some stuff and eeeeeeeeeyer I'm turned off by you lah Mr. Penguin. You're such a backstabber.

Okay I have nothing to do so I may cut up my leggings and maybe some tops tonight for thrill.

2009-07-24T14:58:00.002+08:00

Woke up and had my breakfast and medications @ 1:30pm..
Decided to stop all medications except Tamiflu which is a must to complete because it's an antibiotic.

All past tense now.

Oh wow it's 3pm.

2009-07-24T02:52:00.004+08:00

The last straw.

This is when no more means no more. No more love, no more connection, no more nothing. Finally the truth I've wanted and things I've been wanting to say. Yup you heard right, no more love.

No more late nights thinking about you and waking up with puffy eyes the next morning. Tonight's the last, I promise. I've moved on haven't I?

Headache drilling into my temples right now. I'm feeling terrible. If my temperature shoots up tomorrow Imma die. I wasn't in a good condition to talk or get 'lectured' in the first place. I didn't pick up Charles' calls but he MSN-ed me in the end. I'm sorry I didn't reply. I know you care a lot. Forgot to complete what I was saying halfway but it isn't important at all because it's related to me and only the physical state for just right now lol. I shall keep it a secret still! Only the loveliest people know.

Officially over and done with everything we've ever had and shared.

2009-07-24T00:54:00.002+08:00

There's a reason why I stopped replying after a few sentences but you keep going on and on, and it makes me seem like the asshole who disturbs you when you're busy. Reason being because I've gotten the message that you're busy. If telling you I didn't mean it that way doesn't help at all then so be it. You're not anyone anymore anyway. I shouldn't have tried talking to you.

I regret. And I'll never do that again.

2009-07-24T00:43:00.000+08:00

BEAT IT IN CHINESE!!

THIS IS AMAZING HAHAHHA.

2009-07-23T23:10:00.000+08:00

The kids super cute.

2009-07-23T21:49:00.004+08:00

I'm pissed.

I'm not a phone book. Don't come calling me expecting me to know peoples' number. I'm also not an answering machine so calling me every few minutes doesn't help especially when I'm sick and trying to sleep. And what I've stated in the E-mails I've sent out is fucking clear, can't you read? With 2 of the class heads down, what more can you expect? It's not like I do not want to head to school. You know how much I don't like staying at home all cooped up and not having an idea what was covered in class. Last but not least, I'm not a hardcore gamer with a STEAM account who can teach you photography as and when you like.

Fucking morons spamming me on MSN going "Buy me!" on Friends For Sale, or just "Help me raise my value lehzxsz" when I've made clear I HAVE MY WORK TO DO. Is FFS on Facebook your whole life?

FFS, FOR FUCKS' SAKE, Friends For Sale is just something I engage in when I have nothing better to do.

Blatant stupid obnoxious idiots.

Apologies for the vulgarities but I'm really down right pissed.

2009-07-23T18:41:00.006+08:00

Not cut out to do covers today. Sian. Voice could still make it by a little bit, but I either pressed the chords wrongly, or the phone rings, or the screen goes into screensaver mode. Yes I read the chords off the screen la okay ): My body wouldn't let me sleep anymore. Too much sleep. Fail. The last time I took panadol was 7am in the morning and I've never had fever ever since (:

I haven't met my luvluvs in a long time. The last one person was Lynette. ): I want to meet them so badly. I feel like dying now cause I miss them so much. The class did nude model drawing today. Next week still have.. So if I get my extractions on Wednesday, I be sure I don't skip BDC on Thursday because it'll cost me my grades despite the MC I'll be given. Sian.

I'm kinda sick of typing html manually. Why has the post widget screwed up? ): Charles told me about his flying today and said another plane almost crashed into his because that pilot wasn't noticing. Eeyer. Okay I'm determined to sit in a plane flown by you Charles! Fly to Singapore to pick me up to Perth hahahahha. And Geshy's the next pilot too. And my cousin's already one!! :D My brother cannot be one due to his myopia ):

And yes, smile because it's all over now my dear.

2009-07-23T11:52:00.004+08:00

The main tank called the 'Kuroshio Sea' holds 7,500-cubic meters (1,981,290 gallons) of water and features the world's second largest acrylic glass panel, measuring 8.2 meters by 22.5 meters with a thickness of 60 centimeters. Whale sharks and manta rays are kept amongst many other fish species in the main tank.

This was shot using a Canon 5DMKII with a 28-135mm lens.

Try watching it in HD + full screen. 5DMkII's HD goodness.
5DMkII never fails to impress as usual. Hehe daddy has the 28-135mm ;x

You're not sorry

2009-07-23T11:28:00.001+08:00

All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around

Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

You had me crawling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no oh

You're not sorry, no no oh

2009-07-23T05:07:00.004+08:00

Hello readers. Good morning? Haha you guys must be wondering what I'm up so early for. I got up to monitor my temperature, wash up and read. Yes read haahhaha kill me :z Okay Imma go back to sleep now (;

It isn't worth it thinking about us. Yes, you and I, when you don't even treat me like a friend which you claim you do. To put it straight in the face, I'm sure you would send blessings to the rest if they were sick but not me. I'm sick of wondering if you would notice and be nice enough to wish me well. Apparently not even though I've already put it straight in your face (; Thinking of you has turned from making me happy to sad, emotional and now, angry and pissed.

- Nokia 5800

2009-07-22T23:24:00.007+08:00

Tessellation 1 colored done (; Left with Tessellation 2. Tessellation makes my eyes go crazy.

James and I had a talk and yeah we came to terms that so many things we've shared during the middle of last year, it isn't the same anymore now. He's in New Zealand while I'm in Singapore. We're both not migrating either ways. How do we press on? We don't speak like how we used to already.

The very talented boyfriend of mine asked if I was angry with anyone because he thinks that anger leads to fever. I went 'what?' but it sort of makes sense if I think of it in certain other ways.

Jeremy's birthday coming soon. I remembered Gesh and I headed to Lucky Plaza's Condom Shop for his 18th birthday present last year and we spent 2 hours in it haha! To get the entry I actually had to change into a super low cut top after Saturday's Biology class to look 18 and indeed they didn't check. I think no one else has seen me wearing that top without a tube since that very day. I was 16! Maybe we might do the same this year again hahaha.

36.8 now (: I think Imma go sleep.

Charles, if you're online and you see this, I'm sorry I'm not able to wait up for you to return back to your room. Much misses.

/Edit@11:46pm/
Oops, not so soon (: I'll continue with Tessellation 2!!

/Edit@11:51pm/
Kkkk I go sleep haha! (; Goodnight readers.

2009-07-22T19:28:00.003+08:00

Couldn't get to sleep ): I was either almost there and someone calls me, or it was too warm. Ice packed my forehead. The pack leaked halfway so I got another bag to secure it before putting it in the RP towel Geshy got me. Just the right size. Thanks darling.

Fever currently on 37.8, just had panadol and Dhasedyl again. Blocked nose, cough getting a little worst. Every time I cough I would feel like puking. I'm supposed to be bogey now haha.

I'm getting used to the rings there. Weight's gonna drop hopefully. When the full set comes in in 2 weeks time, Imma die according to Wan Lin. Gillian's accompanying me. Love you girl (: Geshy's accompanying me to get the extractions.

I want to hug everyone I love now ): But I can't because I have H1N1! So, I'll send them virtual hugs soonish, and I'll make sure I wear a mask at home all the time except when I need to ingest.

Mom woke up at 7am to check on me today. Thanks mum. Dad brought me to the doctors at 9am and then headed to work after that.

I love my parents. I miss my brother and our army joke nonsense and laughing like mad asses, sometimes bitching about things. He's getting me the cute dark green bottle hehe. I think it's those for outfield camps.

16 August = can donate blood again :D

2009-07-22T16:44:00.006+08:00

Health check.
21/7@2pm: 37.1 Runny nose, headache, body ache.
21/7@5pm: 38.4 Runny nose, headache, body ache, fever. (Panadol)
21/7@7pm: 37.6 Runny nose, headache.
21/7@11pm: 37.1 Runny nose, headache, dry cough. (Panadol)
22/7@7am: 37.7 Runny nose, dry cough, fever. (Panadol)
22/7@9am: 37.1 Runny nose, dry cough.

22/7@3:30pm: 38.9 Runny nose, dry cough, fever, body ache, swollen eyes. (Panadol)
22/7@4pm: 38.9 Runny nose, dry cough, fever, body ache, swollen eyes.
22/7@4:47pm: 38.3 Runny nose, dry cough, fever, body ache, swollen eyes.

Imma go sleep again. Woke up at 2pm and did some of my assignments + sent some official documents to my lecturers. Called some other sick classmates and made sure they're well.

Thanks people for all the well wishes. I feel loved (:

Loveliest people in my life.
Lynette Shermaine Pearline Jhovanie James Geshy Charles Jillyn Gillian Yi Ting Nigel.

A few of the above called me these: "Little hunny bunny", "long hair girlfriend", "BABY", "Hun".
HOW TO NOT FEEL LOVED?

Things are getting so much better. Although I feel so uncomfortable physically wise, it's nice to know that these people actually care. At least they are true ehhe.

No one to pat my head in person, no one to give me a kiss on a forehead, no one to tuck me into bed and hug me to sleep, making sure I was comfortable, and no one to call me "B". But all these add up to more than that. Screw relationships. Screw hypocrites. Yes I'm pointing my finger at you (;

2009-07-22T10:07:00.003+08:00

Like I've mentioned...

3 days MC, doctor diagonsed 50% H1N1 positive. Stay away people. I'm on Tamiflu, Dhamol, De-Cold and Dhasedyl now.

Had to cancel today's appointment. Shifted to next Wednesday. Waiting for lecturers' replies to my E-mails now. It just means I would have to chiong even more from next Monday. Shit this.

I'm pretty amuzed how Dr. could actually diagnose me with H1N1 and say it's "50% positive" when he didn't even get me do the swab test. But Imma go back in 3 days time if my fever doesn't go down.

Health check.
21/7@2pm: 37.1 Runny nose, headache, body ache.
21/7@5pm: 38.4 Runny nose, headache, body ache, fever. (Panadol)
21/7@7pm: 37.6 Runny nose, headache.
21/7@11pm: 37.1 Runny nose, headache, dry cough. (Panadol)
22/7@7am: 37.7 Runny nose, dry cough, fever. (Panadol)
22/7@9am: 37.1 Runny nose, dry cough.

I'm gonna finish up my porridge and head to bed after my medications.

And yeah you still have the cheek to say you treat me as a friend.
I know who true friends are now. And no you're not one of the true ones.

2009-07-21T23:32:00.004+08:00

Thank God for all my friends.

Thank God for Gillian for being willing to be there for me and with me although I felt unwell. Thank God for Geshy, Nigel, Lynette and the others for the little naggings, get-well-soons and collecting my work from the lectures tomorrow. Thank God for TJB for the huge nagging through SMSes although he's stuck in camp. Thank God for Charles for the little SMS although he's in Perth.

Thank God for my loving family who supports me although I told them Imma skip school tomorrow and they get comfort food for me, give me medicine, make the oats for me and nag at me to get well soon so my brain works towards it, although they make me wear a mask at home hehe (:

Life could never get better even though I feel terrible now.

Thank You Father for You make me strong and You guide me and gave me the way.

2009-07-21T19:47:00.004+08:00

I like zee above.

Fever f-ed up my plans. May not be going for appointment tomorrow. Blue bands already hurt a lot! Flu and shitzzzzz. I'm so angwie. I want C and J. Where're they?

Marmie is getting me Myojo instant porridge. I luv.

Hi my talented boyfriend are you seeing this?

Showerz.

2009-07-21T12:15:00.004+08:00

I feel like killing my jaws now they hurt like f! Okay it's cramping. I'm just gonna die. I've done 1 muscle anatomy and I'm gonna stop there. I have more to do in workbook (4 excercises) and I think I'll have to skip one or two because of the medium (thank God). School starts tomorrow what the. And they announced it today. Majority thought it was Thursday. I'm gonna skip lessons tomorrow without an MC or LOA simply because I don't wanna go to the doctors. Yes I've had flu since last night. I've never once skipped school but heck, I never felt worst.

They just called to remind me of my appointment tomorrow. Hopefully Geshy's accompanying me.

I need a hug now! Anyone? Hahahhaa. I want Chawanmushi.

On side note, I'm glad I'm not one of those people who cannot face the world without make up. Because it's.. Crazily Pathetic. I'm happy.

2009-07-21T01:19:00.003+08:00

Not as easy as I thought. Gums hurting like no tomorrow. I can't find painkillers. Halfway through ONE of SIX of the muscle anatomy. Facebook video NOT loading. 3 hours already man what the @#$%. Sleep now. Damn tired. Learnt Country Road because Nigel wanted me to. I feel like dying now. Nose leaking like tomorrow's the last day I have on Mother Earth. I'm so tired my eyes are teary.

And then I find myself thinking about you again.

URGH.

Darlings darlings darlings darlings.

2009-07-20T23:47:00.003+08:00

According to how long I've known them.

Lynette Shermaine Pearline Jhovanie Geshy Charles Jillyn Gillian Yi Ting Nigel.

No more!

2009-07-20T23:12:00.003+08:00

Hello people I know you guys are getting sick of 2 months of nostalgic, sad posts which I've decided to stop. I've decided to numb myself. Decided to stop and not face it anymore because I myself cannot take it anymore. No Geshy I'm not patient I'm giving up this minute. I'm not gonna leave things to slowly fade away and hope that he'll come back to me if I still have feelings for him after FYP, his graduation, army or what ever, although the feelings are that strong. Post window something wrong! Have to type the html manually. I'll do work like a mad dog tonight and tomorrow and Wednesday!

Who's free on Wednesday at 3:30pm to accompany to the hospital? Geshy has a friend's birthday to attend to );

Mass update

2009-07-20T13:12:00.002+08:00

Mass update for the last one week up. It was on my private blog which I exported to here. Hiatus felt kinda good after a long time.

Dad accompanied me to Mount Elizabeth Hospital today. Did the mould, planted the rings and did X-Rays. Burger King at Tiong Bahru after that and home. Now I'm gonna go chiong my FDS and BDC (;

Click 'Older Posts' to see the ones which don't appear here.

2009-07-19T15:23:00.000+08:00

Cute.

2009-07-19T11:03:00.000+08:00

I know I shouldn't feel this way. It's your life and it's supposed to be none of my business.

I get jealous. I get jealous of people you hang out with - guy or girl. They get to spend time with you, be it studying with you or just heading home or to the MRT station together. I envy them.

I know I cannot blame you for not coming online last night which caused me a little discomfort when I went to sleep. I always had to see you come online at night so I would know you're home, and occasionally see you go offline indicating that you're asleep, although that may not be an exact judgment.

I know she stays close, although she studies far away. I know it's the distance that makes us impossible to do certain things together. Like how you mentioned D was in your school and stayed nearby. And Cheryl now is your neighbor upstairs. What can I not accept anymore? I know I shouldn't feel that way but sometimes I kinda do not like the religion because they bring girls and you together and closer.. Like D and your neighbor.

Me and my stupid hindsight.

I miss you, I really really do. Does a hiatus make me seem like I miss you less? I just want you here holding me. I miss how it feels to hear you reason me out because of things I've said wrong, and then hold me tight after that telling you love me because I show a little sadness in my expression. I still type your number when I call people sometimes, and I do get the urge to talk to you on MSN too..

I love you the way you are and I regret not showing it as much as I want to now. How could I have missed such a person in my life?

2009-07-19T00:23:00.000+08:00

Maybe tonight I'll have to break the usual routine..

Tonight I won't get to see your name pop up on the bottom of my screen before I go to sleep at ease because I'm so tired.. Where are you now?

I cannot keep going on like that. Cynthia, snap out of it.

2009-07-18T02:48:00.000+08:00

Webcam danced with Joe on ooVoo. Nobody! Haha twice. And Charles saw it! He's in Perth. Heart to heart talk. He's 10 years older but we click. He was a darling. The wonders of VR. I've virtually never met him but I miss him.

Nigel's angry because of certain issues. Relax boy.

I'm meeting Pearline later to go for a spree with my Geshy. Then maybe I'll meet the girls, and tomorrow will be complete if I manage to meet all the people I planned to meet.. Except for the fact that I miss Jillyn ):

Now I can sleep well because I saw you online and go offline.

I miss Giant pretty pretty much.

2009-07-18T00:42:00.000+08:00

It's so late..

I'm worried. I know I shouldn't be.. I know you're 20.. I know you're with your sister.. Maybe..

But I'm worried sick.

2009-07-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

"Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do."

2009-07-17T12:49:00.000+08:00

We walked along a crowded street

You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never let forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

2009-07-17T11:56:00.000+08:00

HAHAHHAHAHHA

VR MAKAN!!! 30/7/09
Time : Evening till night
Venue: Town area

AND I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT'S TODAY SO I ASKED TYPLO FOR DETAILS asking him 'why always so last minute oneee' AND HE PENGXZXSZX ME!!!! HAHAHHAHA.

Gosh.

Alone for too long. I WANNA HEAD OUT. Charles! I WANNA GO PERTH TUUUUUU! ):

2009-07-17T00:20:00.000+08:00

Think negatively = I'll just eventually die.
Thing positively = Giving myself false hope.

But cannot don't think..

Salvation. Hallelujah.

2009-07-16T22:09:00.000+08:00

I totally forgot about Garena, L4D and CS. I shall go play a little bit now!

I'm getting used to the quieter life. My phone is quite the whole day except for TJB's messages at night and occasional call from the darlings to go out.

Abstaining myself from talking to you would do you good so I will. Work hard. Seek God when you're lost. As usual, I'm praying for you every single night. Soon enough, we'll be a little older and we'll feel much better around each other.

2009-07-16T20:29:00.000+08:00

Missed the run today because period hit ): VR dinner tomorrow? Town on Saturday?

1241.

2009-07-16T17:50:00.000+08:00

Everything I ever did, heaven knows I'm sorry, babe
I was too young to see, you were always there for me
And my curiosity got the better of me
Baby, take it easy on me

Anything from A to Z, tell me what you want to be
I open my heart to thee, you are my priority
Can't you see you've punished me, more than enough already
Baby, take it easy on me

Baby, take it easy on me
Baby, come back to me
Baby, come back to me

Come back, baby, come back to me
Come back, I'll be everything you need
Come back, baby, come back to me
Come back, boy, you're one in a million

2009-07-16T12:24:00.000+08:00

Felt hungry but I replaced lunch with a pack of 250ml Magnolia's Chocolate Milk! (:

Things to do today

Typography
BDC work/sketch book
Prepare a little of the slides for OC so I would lessen my work load for next week
Run
Rest

(;

2009-07-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS DELON!
Officially a father!!

SO ADORABLE RIGHT? When Adelle was out for the womb for barely 30 minutes. Even mom cringed because she's so adorable! HER EYES SO BIG HER SMILE SO PRETTY! Her eyebrows also very nice!!

I WANT TO BE A PROUD MOM OF MY PRETTY AND HANDSOME KIDS NEXT TIME!! 1 daughter 2 sons = ideal!! DAUGHTER ELDEST! Hahaha.

I want a beautiful family which prays together and stays together.

2009-07-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

Woooohooo. Yay completed most of the listed. Run was okayyyyy. No school for the next one week because someone in the same lecture theatre kena! So more time to do work hence the non chionging in BDC.

For BDC

Human anatomy
Muscle anatomy
Workbook
Sketchbook

I want helium balloons and recording videos with Geshy! I want high high voice! And laughing with helium inside sounding like total retards!! :D

I cannot get enough of Rumi of fashiontoast.com!

Mom and dad insists I don a mask at home!! At first I thought it was a joke because they were laughing so badly but apparently it wasn't hahaha. So..

Crazy haha.

I miz the following.

Click to enlarge!

PM removed for more privacyyy. FAT FACE's Pearline, MushroOm's Shi Min.. And if you're just wondering, the little part of the square at the side is my Tablet widget which hides there all the time heeeee.

2009-07-15T15:27:00.000+08:00

On this day of your life, Cynthia, we believe God wants you to know...
... that it's your heart that knows who loves you, not your ears or eyes.

Listen to the words, and you can be fooled. Look at the actions, and you can be fooled. You are loved only when you feel loved. Who makes your heart soar now? Well, what are you waiting for?

As much as I want to hold on, my palms are sweaty, my fingers are numb. I'm losing my grip. Give me a reason, a sign, anything that makes me stronger.

2009-07-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhhh to SingHealth Polyclinic is a waste of timeeeeeeee. There to make an appointment only >: Could just call in. Earliest appointment is January to GET A REFERRAL LETTER!! Then still have to wait for hospital's call for one to two years. Small Medium Large Jumbo manxszsxzxzs. I'll call up other government places and ask around and do some surveying if not Imma head to private = $1k more ):

Okayyyy plan for today:

Water spam until 4:00pm
Finish the cookie I brought to school but forgot to eat slowly
Do BDC workbook and try to complete
Sketch on BDC sketchbook
Go running at 6:30pm (2h30m enough to not get stitches righttt?)
Can Nuo for dinner
Continue work

Not going to bring MP3 because it didn't help at all yesterday. Bringing a small bottle of water instead. You know those little FruitTree Fresh ones ehhehehe. My blogging craziness still here leh sian.

Hiatus is good once in awhile. You might go, "You're so bloody thickskinxszxzsx" but it's true that I've been getting too much attention. Even the famous Singaporean IT guy TWicked commented on my latest public blog post. Doesn't help to have started blogging since Primary 4 and having countless of blogs (all deleted except those on this account).

Appearing offline on MSN and Facebook, not Twittering, not commenting on anyone's status.. Just me, myself and some games and the sweetest people in my life who are all aware of my current status. Been actively clicking on MH though.

Laterz perhaps.

2009-07-15T12:45:00.000+08:00

Speech writing and presentation was awesome. Speech writing was a breeze just like any Secondary School composition. Presentation had no preparation done but it was funnn. Khaliq made it funny.

Polyclinic to get referral letter after this. Hopefully queue's not long. If waiting list is long, mom would send me to a private. It'll be painful but after awhile it'll be pretty pretty (:

Changing myself.

2009-07-14T20:45:00.000+08:00

Lack of stretching almost killed me! Back ached and stitches came in. Didn't breathe through my mouth until the last few meters. I FORGOT. HAHAHHA. Saw someone skipping in the park. Looks not bad! Maybe I should too! I love skipping!

Smooth Criminal stuck in my head now ): I want to get the 3 in 1 new MJ's disc collection for dad!

Singhealth Polyclinic for referral letter tomorrow! Waiting list be short pretty please?

Congratulations to baby Jillyn for total freedom!!

GESHY LET'S GO HIGH ON HELIUM AND DO A VIDEO AND PUT IT ON FACEBOOK. LET'S SING SONGS WHILE BEING HELIUMNATED!

Speech writing tomorrow shitttttt.. HTI1 presentation too. OH NO!

DETERMINATION

2009-07-14T17:48:00.000+08:00

Complete HTI PPT
RUN 2.4KM AT LEAST (4 rounds around the 600m gradient track)
Have Can Nuo for dinner
Shower
Search for some photography aspects to include in speech

DETERMINATION NEEDED. As much as possible, do 2.4km per day, slowly increasing. Today's a test of stamina.. Little but better than nothing.

Purpose?

2009-07-14T09:57:00.000+08:00

To keep my itchy hands and head from making myself obvious in people's world. Gonna try to not blog publicly for the next one week, not appearing online or just communicating through any form of my electric devices except of those of classmates or people who I know appreciate me.. Maybe it'll go on for a long term but I'll just try and see if I can cope for this week alone before I talk too much and can't take the solitude. I need to keep myself from being an attention seeker when the only attention I hope to get is from you.

I just want to try to get myself to remember that I'm not in your life nor on your mind anymore.

2009-07-14T00:26:00.001+08:00

Bye world.

2009-07-14T00:15:00.004+08:00

I find myself curling up in bed crying, still trying to swallow that cold hard fact that was presented to me..

Father, please?

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance..
Sometimes.

2009-07-13T23:44:00.003+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

2009-07-13T22:47:00.005+08:00

I forgot to turn on the heater before I showered, forgot to bring my work to school today, almost forgot to bring it out after going home to get it, leaving it on the dining table until Gillian reminded me, and then I, again, almost forgot to get Jhovanie his T's, and that Dad's on second shift tomorrow and brother booked in today! I missed Granny's Fried Rice today because I had dinner outside. I HAD NO IDEA SHE CAME OVER TO COOK )':

Geshy is gonna go skinhead, I'm going crazy with the workload coming in and releasing my stress through laughing aloud to jokes in class and being one of the class clowns! May Poh and Yi Ting managed to persuade me to start a MouseHunt profile pfffft!! Mr. New Zealand got my mail and we're contacting pretty much now just like before but he's just toooooo farrrr away. BMW rides and staying at your place's a promise when I go to New Zealand in the future!!! Just no crashing!! TJB's been pretty much tossing and turning in bed that we've been messaging! My life's back on track!!! I need to get myself referred from a Polyclinic soon so the initial procedures can be over and done with before the holidays kick in (;

OH YES I'm going to the Generation Y Leadership Camp in Batam/Johor during the holidays!!! 1/11 of the ~300 students in School of Design. Feels good being a leader to lead the team to success. Wouldn't be able to do it without Raymond.

2009-07-13T20:17:00.003+08:00

Wrote a little short post and decided against publishing it.. Maybe it's not time but I really don't want us to feel so foreign but what's the point if I've once told you and you just wouldn't listen?

Dinner with Lynette and Jhovanie. Watched "Michael Jackson live in Bucharest" for awhile. Smooth Criminal and Billie Jean.. Got more S bands and then headed home. Drew a little today..

I'm happy (;

Now I don't know, now I don't know If I'm ever really gonna let you go and I, couldn't even leave my apartment, I'm stripped down, torn up about it. Nothing feels right when Im not with you, sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.. Taking them off 'cause I feel a fool, try'na dress up when Im missing you. Im'a step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something Hanes.. In bed I lay - with nothing but your T-shirt on..

2009-07-13T17:12:00.005+08:00

I totally absolutely forgot about the pills, not to mention follow it. Headed to school at 8:30am when school was scheduled to start at 2pm. We rushed the model and it turned out better than expected. Thank you Raymond and Khaliq for your guidance, or so called letting us 'copy' hahaha. We figured things out halfway through after the first stairs though, and both of our groups had different looking models. Both were dope. When we were almost done just 3 hours through, Raymond suddenly talked about Entography and then I remembered that I left mine at home. I didn't have any idea that we had to bring it anyway.

Headed home with Gillian's company and back within an hour and a half! Got lunch and packed it back to class. Finished it in time for lesson (; Iain asked me why I was in class when he saw actually saw me saying I was heading home on Facebook before lesson hahah. Cute lecturer.

Lesson was dope. I already finish my homework HEHE! Helping people out with lino printing and doing my BDC sketchbook while waiting for Lynette to tell me she's at Woodlands so I can head down to Clementi.

I almost burnt someone's ears last night heh.. Thank you.

Losing a thumbdrive...

2009-07-13T08:19:00.000+08:00

... is damn sianxsxzx. I wonder if any ass face will take my HTI drafts to do editing for submission.

Sian 1/2

2009-07-13T01:11:00.002+08:00

I shall start taking my pills again.. Morning 10, 2 whenever I'm hungry, 10 at night. Maybe it'll work. Would I even follow through?

Thanks for listening me out.

2009-07-12T23:58:00.001+08:00

Because it's the best for everything..

2009-07-12T22:34:00.003+08:00

Went to Depot for a family dinner. Waited 45 minutes. Not worth the wait because things were either too salty or had this bitter taste. Don't say you can't trust me. Even dad thinks so too and he's a foodie. He would travel around Singapore for recommendations and when we go overseas, he would ask for the venue's delicacies..

I messaged everyone important to me and told them I loved them. I got nice responses (: Only Yi Ting thought something happened to me haha.

Been messaging TJB for the past hour. He can't sleep in camp and he's risking his ass while messaging me!

Hectic week ahead.

2009-07-12T17:27:00.001+08:00

Instead of FML-ing, I've been GMH-ing.. Although I still do a little of the former.

For optimists.

GMH.

2009-07-12T12:56:00.006+08:00

I saw something which made me confused. There's so many possibilities to that. Confided in one and asked for his opinions.. I need to ask Gesh too.. And I'm not gonna limit to those who have good command of the English language. I need more perspective.. But I'm pretty sure the one I have is kinda already there, although I may not know what the author's thinking sometimes.

Will you meet me when your chores are through?

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

2009-07-12T00:03:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was a day out to Bugis to get Shi Min's present, before heading off to National Library to look for Nigel. We went up to the 8th storey and he showed me some books. We browsed "Drawn to Life" 1 and 2, "Drawing for the terrified" and this Pirate of the Caribbean related book. Headed down with him to have lunch with his friends namely Angeline, Felix and Thomas (: Went to 7-eleven after that and then left because the girls (Lynette, Shi Min and Desiree) were on the way down.

I met the girls a little late at Daiso. Train got stucked at City Hall. We went to get snacks and then sat at the ticketing area waiting for Jhovanie, Han Boon and Calvin. Headed in and took the tram to Palawan beach. Got there at 4pm only! Haha. Then we played Volleyball. Rained halfway through and then we evacuated. It got pretty heavy but it stopped in 5 minutes. We set up our tent and then continued playing. Double rainbows are very pretty ^^ Went into the water, had quite a bit of fun. Spotted Nathanael halfway though. He was on this thing and I was wondering if it was him because it looked a lot like him. Didn't dare to call out though, until he came back and I shouted his name. He came over haha for a minute? Then left. We buried Han Boon in the sand.. Left around 7pm and went to shower. By the time we were out of Sentosa, it was about 8:30pm. Headed to Vivo City for Daiso again and Pet's Safari. I got my reflective anti-spy protector. Kopitiam for Ramen and then home-d at 10 odd. It was raining heavily so dad came to pick me up at the train station.

Pictures (here). I'll tag later.

2009-07-10T23:37:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I just want to not return home because you're so drilling into my brain and killing me. Do you know how it feels when you say things which doesn't link to the one we were talking about? And then you put me down and dad would just sigh. Sometimes I just feel like blocking my ears out because it gets on my nerves that you rattle on too much..

I'm suffering myself.

G

2009-07-10T11:33:00.005+08:00

Gesh, where's the chalet we promised each other? The chalet for single, wild, loud and crazy people who will jump into pools containing Vodka and Red Wine or just plain booze but go down low broken just because they loved too hard?

Sometimes I feel like giving up.

Lino printing was horrible. Either too much or too little ink which causes the paper to either tear or remain printed with white spots. Everyone is re-doing the prints again.

Sudden loss of appetite for lunch but I got some little snacks. I cannot continue like this. I need to sleep earlier. It sucks to feel this way but I know it's for the better. I hated it when he said that we had to stop talking at night but it's inevitable feeling this way so I guess I'm perfectly normal..

Happy 17th, Shi Min.

2009-07-09T22:00:00.001+08:00

Thank you boy (:

I promise never to feel that way again.

2009-07-09T19:42:00.006+08:00

The later part of today in school..

Human anatomy, bone structure, muscle structure, 4x mannequin sketch.

Walked to the MRT with Raymond, Brandon, Khaliq and Leslie.. We bought food for dinner. I bought a pack of medium fries and immediately after, I received this message.. Had 3 or 4 of the fries and thought of bringing them with me and finish the rest when I was walking home, but when I exited the MRT station at Tiong Bahru, I figured out I just didn't have the mood to eat and threw the whole packet away. I know someone is cursing me now..

When I walked pass the fitness corner just downstairs, tears started to flow.. The door was open when I got up the level so I had to sit outside for a little bit because I didn't want to explain anything to my parents.

Things are okay. Maybe there's too many "maybe"s that I confuse myself all over.. But I know what I'm doing now is the best I can do now - just be there only when he wants me to..

Cynthia wants to be strong right now.

(: Huge smile.
I miss you holding me from behind.

2009-07-09T13:20:00.007+08:00

I forgot to draw the anatomy of the human body D:

Classroom's super cold now. We did Trexi designing for the FDS class today to enter the competition. The was a cap of 7 colors so I chose all the colors my dearests liked. I remember Felix telling me he didn't have any favourite but preferred Yellow, Red and Black when I wanted to get the water bottle for him so I asked him to name a color and he named Pink! Difficult color to work with.. Below is the first draft..

So here's my final submission. Click to enlarge.

Lynette - Green
Jhovanie - Blue
Shi Min - Black
Geshy - Orange
Jillyn - Yellow
Felix - Pink (random)
Myself - Red

Shivering like a muthaaaa now! Damn cold today no idea why. 2 hour lunchbreak is gonna end in half an hourrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ): BDC. Human body..

I'm holding tight to my laptop's adapter because it's warm warm!

2009-07-09T08:08:00.001+08:00

Damn bloody tired!!

Tired eyes like..
.
.
.

=.=

literally.

2009-07-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

Tonight, I felt like a real friend to you, and all the misconceptions I had about you are all washed away. I feel so bad for doubting your love for me, and acting like a lost puppy you just abandoned when it wasn't the case.

If I could choose the path again, I would choose to meet you exactly 5 months ago, and even though I know that exactly 3 months later I would feel so lost, I would still choose this path and feedback positively on Sunday night all because it made us realize so much more, especially myself.

I owe you an apology and I'm thankful that you treat me better now. Thank you for everything you've given me and all that you've taught me, bring frank with me and being patient with me when I could not understand, and last but not least, treating me like a true friend now.

Tonight, I watched the send off of Michael Jackson. Tonight, TJB messaged me for the first time ever and made me promise him that I'll play the guitar for him over voice call when he comes back from the first 3 weeks of BMT and told me he would listen attentively using a earpiece. Tonight, was the first time G told me stuff like these and it was the first time that I did not know how or what to say.. Tonight, mom gave me Choya with Shiso. Tonight, I didn't cry. Tonight is the fifth month of us.

Tonight, I realized what my goal was. Yes I do not have an ultimate goal, but I know that as long as I work my hardest and give my best, remember his words and carry on well with life, I know I'll make it..

Thank You Father for all you've blessed me with. Thank You for this new friend of mine.

I shall remember not to skip food before having alcohol.. I did not have my dinner today and the alcohol is stabbing my stomach.

2009-07-08T18:13:00.004+08:00

Michael Jackson to be buried without his brain

Michael Jackson will be buried this week– without his brain. As his family tries to finalise details for the King of Pop’s funeral on Tuesday they have been told it will be held back for tests.

They faced the grim choice of waiting up to three weeks for Jackson’s brain to be returned to them or go ahead and bury him without it – which they have decided to do.

Los Angeles Coroner’s spokesman Craig Harvey confirmed that neuropathology tests will be carried out to see if it holds any clues to the exact cause of his death.

But the examination cannot begin until at least two weeks after the death when the brain has hardened sufficiently to slice it open.

Jackson died from a cardiac arrest at his Beverly Hills mansion on June 25 after a suspected overdose of painkillers.

Sources at the coroner’s office revealed that his brain was removed before his body was released to relatives the next day.

A forensic neuropathologist will test Jackson’s brain for, among other things, past drug use and whether he has suffered overdoses in the past.

The brain can also show any past abuse of alcohol or if the deceased had suffered from any one of a number of diseases. The source said that removing the brain is the “only way to carry out the tests”.

“The tissue has to be examined,” he said. “I can’t tell you how long that is going to take.”

One expert explained that the Jackson family could decide to wait and bury the brain with the rest of the body. But it is far more common for the lab to burn the remains once they’ve been examined or for them to be placed into the grave at a later date.

“It’s up to the family. They can bury him and then bury the brain later on,” said Dr Cyril Wecht, a former coroner and one of America’s foremost forensic pathologists.

But he added: “It’s rare for the body to be held back for two weeks or more.”

Jackson’s body was handed over to his family soon after the three-hour autopsy was completed and the Jacksons went on to order a second forensic examination.

But Dr Wecht said: “The brain cannot be properly examined at the time of the autopsy. You cannot test it while it is in the body. So it is cut off at the spinal cord and removed.”

The brain would usually be placed in a plastic bucket, suspended in formaldehyde fluid, and put in a refridgerator at 4C to preserve it.

Dr Wecht went on: “People don’t realise how soft the brain is. To do the type of detailed examination required you need to have the brain much harder – and for that you have to wait for at least 10 days to two weeks.”

Dr Wecht, who was not involved in the Jackson autopsies, has reviewed and been consulted on many high-profile deaths, including John F. Kennedy, Elvis Presley and Anna Nicole Smith.

“In Los Angeles they have a neuropathologist they work with, and he will be looking at the brain,” he said.

It is cut into sections of less than half-an-inch thick and reviewed first by the naked eye and then through a microscopic. “That all takes 17 to 18 days,” Dr Wecht added in an exclusive interview.

Dr Wecht, who chronicles his career dissecting more than 16,000 bodies in his best- selling memoir A Question Of Murder, added: “In the 47 years I have been doing this I reckon only about one per cent of families say they want the brain back so they can bury it. In most cases it is incinerated.”

The autopsy is expected to show that the 50-year-old singer had drugs in his system when he died.

At various times, he is said to have been taking Demerol and Oxycontin for pain from old back and leg injuries and Diprivan, a hospital anaesthetic, to help him sleep.

- MICHAEL Jackson starred as the Scarecrow in The Wiz, the 1978 musical version of The Wizard of Oz – playing the character without a brain opposite Diana Ross as Dorothy.

Source: mirror.co.uk

2009-07-08T17:53:00.000+08:00

The world slows down but my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part where the end starts

2009-07-08T15:31:00.002+08:00

Tears flowed once I reached the door and hasn't stopped since then. Thoughts just came to me when I was walking home alone, and I realized that I need a company constantly. I thought I was fine joking around after breaking down in class, having my lunch and doing fun things with the classmates.. But things didn't turn out like how I thought they were. I thought I was over you, I thought I was ready for the worst..

I just wish you were still here.. I need you more than ever now..

2009-07-08T10:33:00.003+08:00

Right after the private journal entry, I was clicking around on Restaurant City switching between both our accounts when Gillian came up from behind and hugged me. She asked, "Are you okay?"

Warmth like this brought me down. Knowing there's someone who notices, someone who cares. I feel stupid breaking down in class. I hate excusing myself to the toilet just because I cannot control my tears.. I love my classmates.

I got my 'lanjiao juice'.. Orange & Strawberry. No Pinklady. Banana gets brown very quickly ): Saw Mervin and the other boys in FC3. I'm on May Poh's laptop currently in HTI lecture. I tried listening but to no avail.. Failed like the start of the previous term.. Wrote a few lines and then I just couldn't catch up.

I hate crashing and burning but I know I'll grow up from these experiences..

I want hotdog waffle.. I want Nachos and Cheese..

I need comfort food. I want more hugs, I want Lynette, Jhovanie, Shi Min, Pearline, Geshy, Jillyn, Felix, Gillian, May Poh, Yi Ting all together to go for a vacation that never ends. I want everyone to be there. I want to be able to cry and laugh as loud when I want to and when I need to. I don't want to hide my feelings. I want to just screw CIP and be free and add more details to my Linocut. I want to know how and start on my HTI Journal and Portfolio. I want to finish my diploma quickly with a high GPA and get into a University, get a degree, get a good job, have a successful relationship and settle down, have a family and be there for my husband, kids and everyone else who needs me.

I want to grow up.. I don't want to get hurt.. I don't want to feel the pain..

I'm selfish no?

2009-07-08T07:51:00.014+08:00

I hate it when I have to wake up early in the morning feeling like shit. The bright, round, orange sun didn't help a little bit. It was a little comforting - but this morning was an exception. Everything I felt was either too cold or too hot - just not right.

I hate it when I cannot finish the things mom put on my plate.. Or rather, I had no appetite. One bite into the sandwich makes me feel like throwing it away because I feel like throwing up. Having to put the others back to where it was supposed to be made me feel like the unusual me who's always greedy. Mom didn't ask why, but I felt bad enough to cry. Having to delete his pictures from my phone one by one kills me because the Mark/Unmark system in the phone would use more clicking..

I hate it when I come to school too early just to find the rooms still locked, and having to sit outside trying to connect and blog through my handphone with the "Create Post" page loading halfway and the connection automatically disconnects despite three tries.

I hate stupidly typing my password into the ID fill and vice versa - it makes me feel like a stupid lost idiot who just doesn't want to face up to the little gaps and answers, and losing all determination to listen to people's presentation and critique like how I used to do, and attending HTI lectures without my notebook, which is usual because I don't normally take down what Faris says..

I hate how I don't crave for Pinklady anymore, which is like the usual FC3 drug.. Totally missing the feeling of the usual Wednesday foodie gang with the awesomest people of 1A55 - the usual Western food, handmade noodles or just plain ol' half boiled eggs, normally ending with our upsized 'lanjiao juice'...

I probably hated Monday morning, the way we acted rash and crashed once again.. I probably want to stab you for that question, and kill myself for me giving a positive feedback and allowing myself to fall and get hurt again, thinking I was prepared for it all when I wasn't at all..

Zac was the first person to make me laugh today with his "Yawwwww" immediately when he entered the class, and saying "Yes, yes, yes", seemingly answering someone's question to him when there was actually no question asked..

I hate the fact that I have to see the bigger picture, but I know it's for the best of us...

This is me at my worst, and I probably hate myself for everything that's happening now.

Euphoria..

2009-07-07T21:38:00.009+08:00

Short euphoria lasted 38 hours. Started in a flash, ended in a flash.. Heartbroken? Yes. But these 38 hours proved something. It proved me wrong.. It proved both of us wrong in one way or the other..

Why must things regarding you always start in the dawn of a Monday and end on a Tuesday evening?

This feeling is hitting me again.. Tears are flowing, mood of listening to music is lost, determination to complete school work is all gone.. No mood to ingest either..

I need to find myself back again.. The one I still was on Sunday.. It's times like these that I need a hug more than ever. I know I've just been, but.. But it's gone. It's not enough..

Was enough ever enough in the first place?

Maybe I should have kept mum.. Maybe it was a punishment.. Maybe I shouldn't have met you tonight.. Maybe Gillian was right about left bad right good..

Or maybe it's just another start for everyone again..

2009-07-07T13:43:00.002+08:00

All I have to say is..

The end of one is the start of something better..

F left my life, but now things are much better aren't they? I learnt how to be independent, confident, and see why and how certain things happen. I'm happy with what I am left with now and the things that are starting to take place in my life..

The above serves as a reminder to myself and to others. Be strong G. I'll be here for you.

2009-07-07T12:31:00.005+08:00

They guessed my nickname without me asking them to..

Felix - EUREKA! I'm a himbo, thief, shao ye, technician and pervert said (10:39 AM):
*lol lynette jhovanie shimin gesh jllyn pearline

LYNETTE*[: says (12:30 PM):
*lynette, jhovanie,shimin,geshy.jillyn,P,F

Geshy - OUH LUVE IT! says (11:15 AM):
*lynette johanvie shimin GESHY JILLYN P?
*F FOR FELIX?

You don't call them best friends for nothing.

2009-07-07T07:57:00.007+08:00

Hi readers.

Apologies for my lack of updates. Been either caught up with schoolwork or spending time with my lovable ones.

Hit school 2 hours early yesterday. Headed to get Calbee chips with May Poh ahaha (; Then had Ontography lecture. New project brief was about MC Escher's Relativity.

We had to construct a 3D model based on this drawing. I was grouped with Gillian, May Poh and Asyura. They know how I work so they're pretty much chionging with me (: Appreciate that. Love you girls.

We analyzed the whole image, and managed to break it down into 8 parts. Started to think of ways to construct each curve and railing. Alienated but kinda fun.

Headed to Clementi to meet Lynette, Jhovanie and Shi Min. As expected, Shi Min's late as always. From my classroom to Clementi (with a 6 minute wait for the train and including buying of SP shirt for the girls) yielded a shorter time than a short walk from Clementi to Clementi. Alien. We had Kopitiam's Japanese Food and then headed up to the arcade to look around. Had a little fun thanks to Lynette. Headed home. Webcammed with Lynette and Megan likes the little doggie I gave her (: She accidentally crumpled my paper though! Haha. Showered, did some work and CS with the girls and Jhovanie for a little bit after that.

Left eyelid kept twitching for the past few hours. During lecture yesterday, and then CS, and now. As the saying goes, "左吉右凶".. Do I see something good coming my way? ;p Something reaaaally good just happened not long ago. Shan't elaborate. I'm a happy girl.

Go the extra mile. Studies, friendships and any future relationships.. I shall do my best in everything. Confidence > strive for the best > do and achieve.

爱自己 LOL! (:

Oh yes I walked pass Diamond just last night again. She's always so calm and composed. Fat fat girl. Must be everyone feeding her. She's so friendly as always. 2 years since I first saw her and this is the first time I took pictures of her heh (:

Lil' girl.

2009-07-06T20:23:00.003+08:00

PEGGY SHOWED ME THIS VIDEO..

ADORABLE! Gosh. Hype hype! I want to have a kid!! :x

Okay update about today later.

2009-07-06T10:47:00.004+08:00

Last night was a night of singing, strumming on the guitar, webcamming and random spasms.. I was initially pissed but things turned out well in the end.. I guess. Thanks TJB, Nigel and _ for the awesome company.

Nigel
This boy is inspiration. No idea why but maybe it's because I think his works are amazing. His quick gestures already tells something. His YouTube links to me are those of illustrators and animators and they are all good. He recommends me books, and makes me laugh. He's evil but I like HAHAHA 9:

Amazing friend I have right here. Grateful for him. Thank you Nigel. Thank you the person who introduced him to me because of a blog layout.

(:

#8

2009-07-05T21:46:00.002+08:00

Oh yes..

Wait for the video to stop at the end and see his face hahaha.
5am in the morning.

2009-07-05T20:25:00.003+08:00

Go go Nigel. I totally support you.

ART IS NOT INSIGNIFICANT AND WORTHLESS.
Fight for us!!

Even if people go 'Ooo nice drawing", it does not mean that they know how to APPRECIATE or see ways to improve. People who go 'Nice drawings" are usually people who do not know how much fundamentals were put in. They don't know how long it took for the artist to reach that kind of standard. All they do is say it's nice and then forget about it.

Truth be told, not many people would bother about how much research and realization of any method would help improve swimming speed. Sports scientists do.

It's the same for art. Not many people would actually bother about how much time, practice and fundamentals was put in to create this piece of work. Artists do.

"To each of his own."

2009-07-05T14:26:00.011+08:00

You bloody shittard. Insulted my bestfriend while your bestfriend is no better.

"who's the smart one"

Stupid asshole. Joke.

"cheeky? well you got big smiles silly =P "

"Are you trying to say I have a huge sunshine smile? LOL!"

"well...yea totally...warm like the sunshine that brings life apon the grounds that grow the beautiful flowers and resembles the sunshine itself..."

"LOL stop being sarcastic."

" I cant...because I wasnt being sarcastic..."

'Quit flirting (;"

"hows that flirty when I said I am not being sarcastic? =P"

I miz you New Zealander!

2009-07-05T13:12:00.003+08:00

Joke LOL!

Dad bought another bike again yesterday ;x

Extronic 002 Edition.

You're so fake.

2009-07-05T02:21:00.003+08:00

Nigel says (2:20 AM):
*i will never forget
*and forgive
*MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Nigel says (2:21 AM):
*YOU!
*CYNTHIA
*BEWAREEEEEEEEEEE

Fuck I'm dead.

2009-07-05T02:15:00.004+08:00

Nigel says (2:16 AM):
*LOL we are best of best friends man
Nigel says (2:17 AM):
*say say lei

THIS IS HOW FAR HE WILL GO JUST TO WANT TO KNOW MY SECRET. SUPER CUNNING AND SELF-DENIAL-ING HAHAHA.

Hi there Nigel thanks for your awesome company on MSN.

Time for me to turn in goodnight!

Me misses Husband.

2009-07-05T01:58:00.001+08:00

Shinedown - Second Chance[Acoustic]
Uploaded by shinedownadict. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Sometime goodbye's a second chance.

2009-07-05T01:01:00.003+08:00

Yay 2 months no FelixtheCat yay!!

I miss TJB!!

(:

2009-07-04T22:28:00.001+08:00

GUANLONG says (10:09 PM):
*=(
*cheap what
*oh ya
*i that time bought little big planet for $29
Cynthia - Darling wait and see. says (10:09 PM):
*so the planet how big?
GUANLONG says (10:09 PM):
*is little... but its big
Cynthia - Darling wait and see. says (10:10 PM):
*so how little is the big?
GUANLONG says (10:10 PM):
*[_______]
Cynthia - Darling wait and see. says (10:11 PM):
*so small.
GUANLONG says (10:11 PM):
*haha
GUANLONG says (10:12 PM):
*its a small...
*erm
*doll
*inside a big planet
Cynthia - Darling wait and see. says (10:12 PM):
*so overall is the doll small la not the planet big?
GUANLONG says (10:14 PM):
*AIYA!

Hahhaha..

2009-07-04T12:03:00.006+08:00

Brief update....

Thursday

School
Linocut at night

Friday

School
Home - packed
Novena with the girls to shop and eat and do work
Ang Mo Kio with Yi Ting to shop while waiting for Gesh
Headed to Woodlands to meet Gesh
Missed one 966 by a few seconds
1 hour 966 ride was filled with open discussions about so much things
Nostalgia hit when bus got to Eunos
Alighted and met the people there while learning how to skate with Gesh's speed skates
Cycled until we decided to get Gesh's Oakleys.
Chased them through and fro all the way to Lagoon because we forgot our wallets and phones were with Liu Hwa, just to get a one dollar while Gesh waited
Took a slow cycle down with Gesh while he skated, until we decided to race to the Jetty together
Rested at the Jetty for awhile before racing back
Got our stuffs from the locker and returned the bikes
Burger King (7 incher) with Gesh hahahah!!!
196 all the way to Clementi
Crashed at Shi Min's
Had a talk with her parents
Stayed up talking till 5am
Felt like shit at one point of time because... ...
Did some Linocutting
Slept at 5am and woke up at 9am
Played with her hamster (video!)
Breakfast with Gesh
Headed home.

Realized it's the first time I've stayed out with Gesh! Yay one year celebration HAHAHAHAH kkkkdumbbb.

I told them this extremely racist joke adapted from Pei Qi hahaa. It's hilarious really..

GESH! Dragon shit! :p

I miss Jillyn. 2 weeks no seeeeeee ): Anyhoo, that Anonymous at her blog has totally nothing better to do. I recommend you go study or something before screwing up your life teeqiu!

Pictures (here)

Video

I know my voice very manly ^^

SLEEP!

2009-07-03T12:15:00.001+08:00

Song beneath the song.

I'll blog from East Coast Park TONIGHT, I hope.

Pieces.

2009-07-02T08:47:00.000+08:00

2009-07-01T22:38:00.003+08:00

Today was

OC presentation
HTI lecture
Break
HTI Seminar
Lynette's
Ministry of Food (Lynette, Ian)
Clementi (Shi Min, Geshy)
IKEA (Lynette, Shi Min, Geshy)
Anchorpoint (Lynette, Shi Min, Geshy)
Home

Took quite a bit of pictures for a normal day.. Megan played with my hair and saw Geshy 'korkor' on MSN. She asked me if I would bring her out with me when I left and I promised her I would see her on her birthday.. But now Shi Min's birthday celebration shifted to this Friday.. I'll miss her ):

SOME pictures..

HTI Seminar

Break!

Msn-ing in class via Fring

Alienated haha.

Etc(s)..

Megan having fun with my hair.

Girly stuffs.

Tied my hair with the lace Lynette had hahahhaa.

Ministry of Food with Lynette and Ian

I'll upload the video soon.. MEGAN!!!!!

Dad just got angry with me because the built-in flash on the D200 was 'not working properly with the camera settings'.. He scolded the shit out of me. I got fed-up, took the camera, and read the little screen.. Fuck it was on Slow Rear Mode. I changed it back and pointed it to him and he softly said, "I got fed up so I just adjust everything".

Life's fucked up sometimes.

Jillyn, Geshy and myself, get well soon!!!

2009-07-01T10:28:00.002+08:00

Presentation was alright. Panicked a little though. But I personally feel that my team did pretty good as a first group.

- Nokia 5800

2009-07-01T00:10:00.003+08:00

I showed Nigel my damn short hair on MSN...

Cynthia - RIP MJ. Megan hot hot Fox trot. says (12:06 AM):
*i chopped my hair real short
Nigel says (12:07 AM):
*OHHHHHHHHH... HOOOOOOOOOoooooooo
*why suddenly want short hair?
Cynthia - RIP MJ. Megan hot hot Fox trot. says (12:07 AM):
*nice not
*suit me?
*LOL
Nigel says (12:07 AM):
*can!
Cynthia - RIP MJ. Megan hot hot Fox trot. says (12:07 AM):
*LOL
Nigel says (12:07 AM):
*nice
Nigel says (12:08 AM):
*why cut lei
*lol
Cynthia - RIP MJ. Megan hot hot Fox trot. says (12:08 AM):
*idk
*cut off
*lor
Nigel says (12:08 AM):
*what is this? chop of history?
Cynthia - RIP MJ. Megan hot hot Fox trot. says (12:08 AM):
*hahah idk
*i want you to look
*look
*when youre looking tell me
Nigel says (12:08 AM):
*arh har
Cynthia - RIP MJ. Megan hot hot Fox trot. says (12:08 AM):
*and dont change screen
*LOOOK
Nigel says (12:08 AM):
*looking
Cynthia - RIP MJ. Megan hot hot Fox trot. says (12:09 AM):
*HAHAHAHA
Nigel says (12:09 AM):
*CHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*MAGIC ARH... wth... cheat my feelings
dun talk to you ler
*lol

Actually, I tucked my hair into my collar.

G I want night cycling soon okay!!!

Boyfriend is angry I called him boyfriend on my blog. He wants an upgrade to Hubbie. He wants to be called "Hubbie"..

Hi Hubbie I love you.

HAPPY 20TH ASYURA! <3

2009-06-30T22:33:00.005+08:00

School ended 2 hours early today so I met Shi Min at New Town. Stall 6 was closed pffftt ): My Tom Yam! Haha.

Went to see Miss Lee, Mr Goh, Mr Ng, Mr Yusof, Mrs Ang, Mr Chan and Mrs Chia. We searched the whole school for the last Mrs!! BE HONORED WOMAN! Hahaha.

Then stayed and chatted a little while with Shi Min and Wee Lin and headed home. Rest for awhile before heading to Chinatown to meet mom to get our hair chopped. Gary shifted (: No more Novena so far away yay haha. Gary said he saw me! He told my mom, "I saw your daughter and her boyfriend a few months ago" lol!! Mother looked at me and said, "Felix.. No more already lahhhh" lol. Pooon. We waited from 6:30pm till 8pm before it was our turn to get our hair cut.. So many people. I am loyal okay what is from Cineleisure follow to Novena then Chinatown. Scarley next time he shift to Pasir Ris siaaaaaaaaaaaaa alien.

Gary and I talked about my extensions but mom did not hear.. Or maybe she acted not to which I know she wouldn't because she's very kaypoh. Never mind hehe. Dad came to fetch us.

While I was crossing the Zebra crossing, mom suddenly screamed my name. Cool. The bumper of this taxi was about 10cm away from my knees. I almost got knocked down.

On the way home, the 3 of us were speaking in Hokkien about one of dad's colleague. Mom said, "Ga yi gong mai ta dio waeh ber" which means "Tell him "Do not to step on my socks"" in direct translation.. And I replied, "Abo wa gia waeh ber gak lieh bein" which translates to "If not I throw my socks at your face". They laughed. Funny meh :/

Stupid MIO not working. So cool. No internet and no landline. You know how I get my connection now kkk shhhhhh hahaa.

Kkk ultimate formal group presentation tomorrow. Me is nervous.

Gloves, headwear, mask and full protection clothing.. Sounds good for an F1 driver ay?

.
.
.
.
.
.

Not necessary.
This is Geshy being paraniod.

-------------------------------------

Witnessing another break up is not comforting. It's either make or break these days. I feel sorry for your state because I know how it feels.. I've recently just been through it and I know how much it hurts.. Apologetic but all I can provide is a listening ear if you may. I know I've only met you twice and not exchanged more than 10/20 words with you but I want you to know that you are not alone. Maybe you'll never read this but we want you to be strong. Since she has made her choice, there is nothing you nor anyone can do. It's not your fault. You've been great. Maybe it's the differences.. Maybe it's what she is able to share with him and not you..

Be strong, J(Y)Han.

2009-06-30T08:06:00.002+08:00

I only managed to fall asleep around 4am this morning..

I couldn't sleep. Went to bed at about 1am. Tossed and turned around and I realized the reason that was keeping me from sleeping was this ball of emotions cooped up in my chest.. I let it go and tears flowed.. Washed up after awhile and went online via Fring.. Chatted with Nigel and he provided me with some words which coaxed me to sleep. Thanks Nigel..

In school now. When I arrived, the doors were closed.. Dad fetched me here.

I'm so tired, my eyes are sore..

2009-06-30T02:38:00.002+08:00

lt hit me like a sudden bolt..

Suddenly, l find the reason for my insomnia.. I've been missing you...

- Nokia 5800

2009-06-30T01:44:00.000+08:00

Sleeping late is starting to become a habit...

No wait.. It already is one. Gotta kick this habit. I'm typing with the stylus on the mini qwerty keypad. So difficult. Can die lol it causes the hand I'm holding the phone with to ache lol..

Goodnight people. School from 9am to 5pm tomorrow.. Sian.

:)

- Nokia 5800

2009-06-30T00:21:00.002+08:00

I remember when I was in Secondary 3, I went frantic because I had ONLY ONE GUITAR PICK and I lost it.. Glenn, Jhovanie, Lynette and I went searching for it and couldn't find anything and we just let it pass.. See the following.

(Click for larger)

Hello humans, this is my alien girlfriend.

2009-06-29T21:57:00.009+08:00

First day of Term 2 is alright. We did drawing. One line! Peaceful.. It's the first time T511's so quiet.. How I wish it was like that everytime. I became the official cartridge paper supplier and my whole stack ran out haha. It's okay, at least I know I don't have to bring paper for the rest of my 8 weeks because at least 5 people owe me 2 pieces each HEHEEHEEEE. Lol. I missed my girls pretty much. I love them.

Trained to Clementi to meet Lynette, Jhovanie and Qi Fang with Gillian. Went to get my sex bands before heading to get my screen protector. The M1's retailer at Clementi made me wait 5 minutes before they served me. It was alright because I arrived at the wrong time. The thing that made me pissed was it took 25 minutes to apply the fucking protector. Yes right, it took fucking 25 minutes of my life. The manager wanted to apply it for me at first, but he got this ahlian girl. Never mind. 10 minutes later, when I thought she was done, she took it out again, applied again, and dust got in. She went to the manager for help and the manager came over. He took the protector, tried applying it, and told me to wait. Then got the girl back to apply it for me..

If it wasn't enough, the process repeated. This time, the manager finally stayed. Lynette, Jhovanie and Gillian were also getting impatient. Mom called and I told her over the phone right in the manager's face that I'm "bloody pissed, call you back later. I don't know how in the world shit like this happens". The manager applied it again for me, then took it out again, cleaned the surface again with the bloody cloth, and scotched it. Don't you have a bloody blower? To add, he dropped the protector on the floor so they had to get a new one for me. Urgh. Adding on to the mood, the girl told me the protector costs $10, while the manager said $8. At least the manager apologized, in a fucked up tone. I just left.

We had Subway. Jhovanie said Lynette hasn't had Subway before. I asked Jhovanie why and he said "because too long for her". So 6"/foot long too long ah! HAHAHHA. Okay never mind. Gillian didn't eat. She left after Subway and the 3 of us went up to the arcade to play Photohunt. We went to the kiapkiap machine and Lynette caught a Minnie Mouse with Jhovanie and my help hehe. $5 (; Then she got tempted to get a Stitch but $7 went into the drain. At least she got something. Moral of the story? Be contented with what you have haha.

Pictures.

In the shower, I wondered how people would be like without me. Maybe they would do better if I don't exist? But if I didn't exist some would not have found each other.. Maybe it would be better Y/N? When A introduced B to C, C gets worried when B disappears. B gets worried when C gets sick.. A gets worried for both B and C.

But nothing happened when A fell sick.. What if A went missing?

Besides the above, I thought back about my past relationships and weighed why each of them end, coming with a conclusion that it's all my fault.. Is it? When the other party gave up on me, it was my fault because I was too over-protective and they had to be 'fake' to assure me.. When I left, it's my fault because I let go first.. My 2 longest relationships ended because I left. If you readers are curious, they both have 'Ken's in their name, and sound the same.

Before I fall in too fast the next time, I'll take time to consider. I'll try to see if there's a future, and I'll go all out only if I'm certain it's worth it..

Believe it or not, I'll seek for the purpose. (Don't laugh ah G. I smack you.)

In class today, boyfriend scolded Gillian for scolding me..): Sorry Gillian! I love you also okay..

(: 3 birthdays coming up! Asyura, Megan and Shi Min.

I want to eat Tom Yam noodles from New Town!!!

2009-06-29T20:30:00.000+08:00

我会永远怀念你温柔的情怀里
热红的心怀念你甜蜜的吻怀念你
那醉人的歌声怎能忘记这段情我的爱再见
不知那日再相见
我的爱我相信总有一天能再见

Short update

2009-06-29T11:18:00.004+08:00

Hi school!!! I luv school! Hehe. I'm feeling so much better now yay. Meeting my lovelies at Clementi for dinner after school. School starts at 2pm hohoho. I miss his "baby(imissyou)face" a little hahaha.

Okay time to switch channel back to schooling! 8 weeks of gruesome CF and it'll be officially over, closing with the CF red carpet event and exhibit and dance floor!! And not to mention, the Youth Leadership camp at Batam.. SD's only got ~13 (unconfirmed) seats for us 24 leaders.. Please please secure me a place! Batam is so pretty hahaha. Me loves to lead.

The end ^^